Amusing Musings

with Kim Jackson

Drunken Philosophy

I’m a unique kind of woman. I’m not saying that to place myself upon a pedestal or what have you; not even to make myself seem more than what I am. I am basically what I am…a unique woman. Yes, every person on this planet is unique…even identical twins have differential factors. But, what I mean is that I do not do things in a ‘typical’ woman fashion.

Having said that…I have to tell you about my weekend and the basis for this piece. I went to a beautiful wedding and watched two young people pledge their lives and love to each other for the rest of their days. Afterwards, as my son and I drove home and I was wondering aloud where I could get some libations (because the bride and groom were so young that half of their wedding party was not of legal age to drink); my son made the remark that he couldn’t wait for me to get married. So, I took this request and my newly purchased special liquid to my best friend’s house and we proceeded to have a round of ‘drunken philosophy’.

As with most drunken philosophy sessions, this one began with the normal drunken queries. What are the problems of modern day relationships? Because, let’s face it…our great grandmothers and fathers didn’t have our relationship problems. And even if they did, nobody discussed it. Fathers came home every night. Mothers cooked dinner…ON THE STOVE!!!! And 20, 30, and 40 year wedding anniversaries were commonplace. So, what happened?

A lot of suggestions were thrown around. Women became too independent. Men became too dependent. Women became too manly in their approach to relationships. Men became too feminine…literally. What ever the result; we all became jaded. No one approaches relationships like they used to anymore. Everybody can appreciate Lenny Williams singing “Cause I Love You” and proclaim they love old school music. But, what about applying that proclamation to old school ways of doing certain things?

Granted, we would rather send an email than to sit down with a pen and paper, write a letter, and walk to the mailbox to send it off. But what if we went back to the old school mentality of dating? Do things together to get to know one another…fully clothed, thank you. Double date, triple date, group outing. What ever! People are entirely too quick to jump into a relationship (or something else…and you know what I mean) with someone without actually getting to know the person behind the curtain. Because, let’s face it; more often than not, the person you met will not be the person that you have come to know after a few months or a few rounds of…ahem…’wrestling’. And that’s when they really let it all out. Once you get past one of the most intimate things two people can do with each other; all curtains, walls, and certifiable craziness comes out…but that’s a whole ‘nother article and requires another session of ‘drunken philosophy’.

History

My heart beats with trepidation

As I hear the music that is his voice

As I still feel the chill that is his touch

As I carry with me the ember that is my love

But the past continues to haunt

Me with ghosts that linger and tease

And he with echoing lies and mistrust

Refusing to release and let two live

I cleave to the past and pain using it

It has become a security blanket

Shielding me from the future

Protecting me from potential dangers

I hear the whispers and try to block the sound

Telling me, begging me, cajoling me

It comes from a tiny voice within

‘You’re breaking your own heart’, it says

‘It is time to let go or prepare to lose again

Let the past remain where you left it’

The voice continued growing with every syllable

Punching and pinching and powerful

‘That pain you feel is of your own doing

When up is your down and right is your wrong

Loving too much and not loving enough

Knowing when to let go and not taking an exit.’

My heart told me that enough is enough

It has a section that is spacious but void

And it will continuously purge, make the capacity infinite

And to rid itself of the old and create new history.

Diamond