(Kim Jackson)  Having a good bunch of friends is truly a blessing. I’ve gotten suggestions on what I should be writing about or expanding on. It seems there needs to be a “Dating 101” series. I’ve put it to consideration and will make a decision soon, but something else has reared its head and put a nugget in my brain.

Growing up, I’m sure you’ve seen your share of troubled relationships and made that child minded declaration, “I won’t be like that when I get married. He/She treats her/him so bad. Why won’t she/he just leave?”. Even if we were not the one that made the statement, we knew someone that did. But as adults, we now see that there could be extenuating circumstances that would prevent a person from leaving another. But, I want to make this perfectly clear…UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU STAY IF THERE IS A HISTORY OF ABUSE! Never. Point blank.

Yes, a couple could split for a number of reasons, but what are the determining factors of a couple reuniting? Now, I must be clear. I’m not speaking on a couple that split up three weeks ago or even three months ago and got back together. Let’s be honest here; that was a break that one or both needed to play around with the other children on the playground. Because essentially if you are in a committed relationship; taking time to separate and get back together is ‘playing’ and the game needs to end. But, I am speaking on couples reuniting after at least a year. Those couples that touch bases with each other from some years ago and are thinking or acting on the big ‘what if’. Couples that split because life stepped in and caused a separation. Notice I said “life”, not Jody* or Jade*. Couples that have learned a thing or two about what it truly means to be in a relationship and have come to the realization that everything that they needed in a life partner was lost years ago. So, what are two people to do? You are not the same person that you were then and the same goes for them.

It’s simple really. You see, it’s not love that is complicated; it’s the people in love or searching for love that complicates things. You be the adults that you are and relax. Over thinking the situation could create a problem. So, let’s not do that…okay? Yes, there are some things that need to be discussed. Remember, you haven’t seen them or talked to them in years…some things could have happened in their life that you need to be aware of and vice versa. As adults, you now have the experience and wisdom (hopefully) to determine if this reunion will work or if it’s even worth discussing. Also, and this is key, don’t jump the gun. Talk, listen, and share. You may have to open those internal doors that you normally keep locked. You may have to take those ‘bags’ that you have packed and get rid of them. You may also have to leave the ‘past’ in the past. But, if you have decided that you will move forward and that life has given you the gift of a second chance. Do one little thing for me…give ‘reunion’ another definition. Instead of rejoining two parts that were divided; let the ‘one’ that had been divided, rejoin as two wholes.

*Jody: Ask your grandmother or grandfather about what a ‘backdoor Jody’ is.

*Jade: Webster’s defines this as a ‘loose woman’.

Gone

Moments shared that were here are now gone

Smiles exchanged kept in memory have faded

We were always living on borrowed time

And my perception of what we were got jaded

I have taken stock and it just wasn’t pretty

Clinging on to our time together for dear life

Allowing it to dictate what my future holds

Filling new relationships with anger and strife

Looking back now I should have known better

My internal meter flickering and going off chart

But my Taurean stubbornness refused to listen

Hoping and wishing that you’d take care of my heart

Instead I allowed you to crush and pulverize

Beat, mince, break, shatter, take, and cleave

The repairs are expensive and I know you won’t pay

But the curtain has fallen; here is where I take my leave

It’s overdue that I release you and your memory

With your lies and innuendos that you believed were slick

You have to know that I did believe in the man in you

But your fakeness and hollow soul made me sick

I can’t hold on to your memory and whatever we were

I’m moving on and allowing who I truly am to grow

Discarding your mark upon my heart with renewal

So, later, so long, good bye…that’s the end of the show.

Diamond