Rotchie Chronicles: Universal Change? I hope not…
By Kim Jackson
*Please note; the following is an actual call to a billion dollar company (yes…A BILLION DOLLAR COMPANY…I checked). Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the completely clueless.
Agent: Thank you for calling ABC, this is Amber. How may I help you?
Caller: Hello Amber, my name is Michelle. I’m sitting here with one of our employees and we need your assistance with something.
Agent: Okay, I’ll do my best. What can I help you with?
Caller: Well, she ordered a card with your company, but she never activated it and has since misplaced the card. When she tried to reorder another through your website, she wasn’t able to get another. Would you be able to cancel her account in your system so she is able to re-enroll?
Agent: Um…I’m not sure how to do that, but let me check with someone and then maybe I’ll have a solution for you.
(two minute wait)
Agent: Hey, Michelle.
Caller: Yes?
Agent: I just spoke to somebody about what your employee needs to do. See, what had happened was (yes, she actually said ‘what had happened was’) the employee didn’t activate the card and there was no activity on the account for some time and the account was closed. And when that happens what we suggest is that the employee goes back to our website and re-register. All she has to do is take out her middle initial.
Caller: Are you sure that is going to work? Wouldn’t her social flag in the system?
Agent: Um…no. See, usually always (huh? What school did this ‘Amber’ go to?) when this happens if you make a little change; the system sees them as a new person.
Caller: Amber? Isn’t the social used to identify the cardholder? How would this work?
Agent: Maybe you can have the employee try that first and if it doesn’t work you can call back.
Needless, to say…you know that didn’t work. Eventually, a solution was found but I came away from that call puzzled. Had I been a cartoon character, I would have continued on with my day with a question mark floating above my head. What had happened was? Usually always? Hey, don’t get me wrong. I am all for change on this 3rd rock from the sun, but when you have an agent of a billion dollar company spouting ghetto fabulosity; that’s a bit much for me. I mean, seriously. The first time I heard a bird whistle like he was Big Ty calling for his boy June Bug…I was a bit shocked. But, eventually, it became a constant as a part of our normal ‘hood’ music; along with the music turning the corner before the car and the annual street cat fight over some dude that everyone knew he was seeing both girls…including the girls.
So, tell me…please; I really have to know. When did this become acceptable? Is this going to continue? Should I expect to call for a pizza delivery and instead of the usual…“Thank you for calling…” I’ll get an earful of, “’sup…whatcha need on yo’ ‘za?”
Samuel Johnson must be spinning in his final resting place.
Shame
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