T.K.O.

by Kim Jackson

In 1980, a soulful singer by the name of Teddy Pendergrass released an album. One of the most memorable songs on the album, TP, was a cut called “Love TKO”. The lyrics conveyed a story of someone trying to take control of love, but love took control of them. In the end, this person decided that the bumps and bruises were not worth it and that it was time to let it go.

I understand that we all go in openly (some more or less than others). Open arms, open hearts, open minds, and even open beds. However, we all know when it has reached that pivotal point of letting go, but there are times when one or both parties involved refuse to admit it. This can result in a number of unfortunate situations; harassment, stalking, and just plain ignorant behavior.

Now, if you are the person who seems to have lost their scruples and are calling anonymous and at all times of night; do you really think this is attractive behavior? Do you really believe that if you bother someone enough that they will relent and give in? I’m sorry to have to tell you this…it most certainly will not. If anything, it leaves you open to be used and abused by this person because they feel that they have you wrapped around their finger (if they are that type of person). Badgering will not get you what you want. Harassing will not get you what you. And stalking? That will get you arrested. Do you really want to be known as the person that wouldn’t go away? Having people give you nicknames like Tom (Peeping), Sam (stalking and manic), and Satan (no explanation needed). Come on…do you really like embarrassing yourself? I don’t think so.

On the other hand, if you are the person that is experiencing sleepless nights because of unwanted calls at all hours. Or, you’ve exhausted all pleasantries telling this person that you no longer wish to be a part of their life and you feel your inner sailor surfacing. Then guess what you have to do? It’s drastic, but necessary if you really want this to stop. After telling them for the 100^th time that you want them to leave you alone…you may have to get the authorities involved. Let them know that this is what you plan on doing and if they continue with their harassment; then, come through on your threat. Now, if you enjoy this unsolicited twisted adoration; um…how can I say this lightly? Seek mental help.

Things happen in relationships. He may cheat, she may cheat, they both cheated. It doesn’t even need to be cheating involved; maybe one person just realized that the issues and idiosyncrasies are not worth the trouble. Maybe they just don’t want to be in a relationship anymore. But when the relationship has run its course and there are no ties to keep you connected; it is time to let go. Even if there are ties, i.e. children; then you make the necessary arrangements for that child to see his or her parent…you don’t have to be present. No matter what the circumstances of the break up are…no one deserves to have their life disrupted by someone that refuses to understand. Just let it go and let them go. Live your life to love again.

As another soulful singer put it...

You played me dirty; your game was so bad.

You toyed with my affliction had to fill out my prescription.

Found the remedy, I had to set you free

Away from me

To see clearly the way that love can be when you are not with me

I have to leave, I have to live

I had to lead, I had to live.