Dating 1 on 1 : Part II
Kim Jackson

Well, well, well. It would seem that some are paying attention and others are not. Do you want to fail this course? I should hope not. If you would check the back of your manuals you would see the number one rule. Communication, communication, communication. What? You can’t find your manual?! My goodness, where is your initiative? Well, you better find it because I’m not holding up a session just for you and YOU! Over there! Wake up!

Now, moving on. We have to examine another aspect of dating that some have been a bit confused about. When dating…who should pay?

I know some of you (mostly the women) want to say the men. But, I’m sorry to have to tell you…that’s not necessarily true. Now, guys, before you get all excited…pay attention. You see, when a person invites another on a date; it is presumed that the inviter is to pay. Now, if you prefer to pay one portion of the date and the other person pays the other portion…go ‘dutch’, as they say; then you need to state that before hand. This is where the confusion comes in. Some people forget that you have to express your expectations when dating. Now, don’t get carried away and talk about what you expect in your marriage, household, and bedroom…who wears the pants and what not. Well, not unless you’ve reached that point in your relationship and if you have…what are you doing in my class? Go down the hall for Pre-martial 101.

You see, some women forget that we do live in the 21st century and complain that there are no men left like their daddy. Men that don‘t have a problem with paying for everything. Yes, those men are out there; but, unfortunately they are not the norm. You must understand that just like women have changed in regards to their independence and their lifestyles as women; men have adapted to this change. Some women have no problem paying when on a date and some men have no problem with women paying for everything. It doesn’t always have to be a give and take, but it is completely unfair for it to be give, give, give. This can bring on another level of expectation that may not be ready to be introduced into your dating world.

Then, of course, we have the men that feel that women should bring something to the table too. They need to be assured that they are pursuing someone that is essential to where they desire to be in life. They also need to know that when it all comes down to it, they have someone that can be there if it hits the fan. They need to know that they are entrusting this woman, not just with their heart (which is another matter all together); but, with their finances as well.

So, here’s the bad news. Just because a man pays for everything…it doesn’t mean that he’s like your father. And just because a woman pays for everything…it doesn’t mean that she will bring anything to your table. These are things that takes time to learn. Things that you will come to see on your own with continual conversations and spending time with each other.

And now, the good news. Continue to have an open line of honest communication and that you will discover for yourself.