The List
by Kim Jackson
(for the ladies…)
 

So, I was wondering if any of you ladies had ever sat down with your friends and created ‘The List’.  

Now, when we were young; The List was what we wanted in life. We would write down five states or cities, five boys’ names, five cars, numbers one through five, and some other miscellaneous nonsense. Well, it wasn’t nonsense then; but looking back…yep, complete and utter nonsense. After we wrote these items down, we would then count through The List by the age we would be when we got married; systematically crossing out the items until we had come up with our future. ‘Living in Miami, with my husband (Dion) and our two children, driving a Cadillac, and blah, blah, blah’.

Then, we got older and The List took on a whole new meaning. It listed the qualities that we wanted in a boyfriend. Okay, the superficial qualities. He must be at least six feet tall. He must have a car and we only had a slight problem if it was a bucket. He must have a job. We didn‘t necessarily care where he worked; we just knew that he had to have a job. He must take me out to eat and to the movies. Like I said, superficial. It was almost as bad as The List you created when you were young. And sadly, some of us even stuck to that list. If you met a guy and he was 5’9”…you still felt a little out of balance with giving him your number because he wasn’t tall enough. Never mind that you are only 5’5”…HE wasn’t tall enough. More mindless dribble from our adolescent driven minds.

But wait; there’s more. The List got a little bit more creative. It seemed that we got a little older and a little bit brighter. He has to have a job making at least X amount of dollars per year. He must not live in his mother’s basement, but if he has a roommate or an apartment; then we have to see it before we can make a judgment. But, if he has his own house; then that’s the best deal. He must drive an up to date car; because we’ve been stranded enough when riding with the dude in the bucket. Height wasn’t a concern; until you put your heels on. You had a preference as to what you liked, but you thought you had grown and wasn’t worried about if he was light, mocha, or dark. But, like I said…you ‘thought’ you had grown.

It wasn’t until real growth happened and The List changed completely. He needed to be compassionate and communicative. He needed to have a passion about something in life. You needed to know his goals and what he was doing to reach them. You were digging deeper and you wanted him to be doing the same. You wanted to get into his head, but not too much, because you wanted…no, you needed to make sure that you meshed. Because you were thinking of the long haul. Would you still be compatible when you were 80?

You know what’s funny? I don’t care about that list anymore. As, you can see…for a while; I did. But I discovered that what really matters the most is the way he treats me. When you have someone that’s loving, considerate, thoughtful, and just plain wonderful; that so-called list doesn’t care any weight. You know what does? Him treating me like I’m at the top of  his list.