What do I do with my child??
This 18 yr old isn't a bad kid (legally speaking). He has never been in any real trouble.Has never been arrested, never been involved in any criminal conspiracies, and never really harmed anyone intentionally. So what's the problem you ask?
This 18 yr old man barely finished high school. He graduated with a 1.6 GPA and is currently looking for employment, but has yet to find any leads on a job. He currently lives with his mom and states, "School is not for me!" So he's not going to college, has no job, and his mom doesn't know where to turn.
So we ask, what's next for this young man? He is a good kid overall, and he's trying his best to stay out of trouble and follow the right crowd.Neither of his parents have a degree,but they’ve been working since they were little. He's been watching them work 8-10 hrs per day since he was little and is following in their footsteps. He just can't find a job right now and once he does,he'll land on his feet and be able to move out and live on his own.
In the mean time, he's sitting at home most of the day. The electric bill is rising as he has the heat on all day because it's nice to have heat on a cold winter's day. They are shopping for more food because the young man gets hungry during the day and has to eat to keep his energy up for his job search. This young man also has a cell phone, which is paid for by his mom, that he uses to call about openings while he searches for employment. His mom is working, her overtime has been cut, and she still has to pay the mortgage, all of the expenses at home, as well as any maintenance and gas for her car.
Did I mention that her son takes her to and from work everyday? He needs the car to ensure that he has transportation to an interview during the day if a job calls. Since he doesn’t have employment, he can't afford to put gas in the car. His mom ensures that he has enough gas in the car and she leaves him with some spending money for just in case situations.
This mother is at her wits end now. It’s been 8 months, he is still not employed, and his confidence is shot.Her son doesn't know what to do and feels like he has given everything and nothing is working out for him.
UPH, where do you think this mother should turn and/or what should she do to help her son out in this situation?
Categories: Relationships
Tags: urban peephole; single mother; child; jobless; 18; future
talk about my life story. i'm sure a lot of mothers can relate to this. would love to see an answer to this one. lord, knows that i could use some sound advice.
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minnie,
It seems like this is a growing problem in the community. I see this all the time. What role do you think a father plays in this equation? What are the mothers responsibilities supposed to be in this case? Is anyone at fault?
My question is to ask, what is this young man's focus? What are his goals? What motivates him? Once we know this, we can understand how to ensure that he makes a decision to create family stability.
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I'm quite familiar with why we have this problem. But, unfortunately I can't fill the void that his father left. My issue is figuring how to reach out to a child that is distant and reluctant to take advice. I try to push and motivate him but, I suppose that he feels that I'm just overbearing. I just don't want him sitting around doing nothing with himself.
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One thing that I have found is actually sitting down with my child and not talking to him like he is one. We have to remember that these are budding adults. So when we explain our position and share our own mistakes when we were in their position, it won't feel like nagging or yelling and they will be more receptive to what we're saying.
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