Grown Woman Gripes

By Kim Jackson

1. I'm starting a petition to put teenagers on an island until they turn 21. At which time; they will be returned to society college educated, driver's license carrying, NON-arrogant productive members of society. If I hear the words, "Ma, I know." come out of my son's teenage mouth one more time...UGH!! You arrogant little twerp! YOU KNOW NOTHING!!! (still wet behind the ears, thinking you know everything...you gon' make me take my belt off). Please log on to www.ican'twaituntilyougetthehe**out.com to sign your name.

2. Okay; I get it's the viral age. LOL, LMBO, OMG, and SMH. But, seriously...you can not (I repeat, CAN NOT) put yo' mack down when you text and you sound like you were not born in this country (no disrespect to those that were not). WTH is up with the broken English? "Not mess thing up". What are you really trying to say here? That you want me to buy you a book on grammar for your birthday?

3. I'm curious...are auto mechanics ever going to realize that we ladies are getting smarter and better at maintaining our cars? While it is true that I know of NO woman (girly girl or tomboy) that can change their own oil. And it is also true that many of us know how to change a tire, we just don’t want to...IT'S EXHAUSTING! But, why are you still trying to stick me because you think I don’t know any better? "How much is an oil change?" "Well, the premium service with the oil change, checking your fluids, vacuuming, and window cleaning is $49.99”. Huh...well, how about this smarty pants? Last time I checked; checking the fluids was a part of the oil change, which I could get for $20 with my discount. The $3 car wash provides free vacuums. I just saved more than half! Nothing worse than a dumb grifter (a swindler). Especially when all I asked about WAS an oil change.

4. You know I have to go here...MEN!!! Hey!! Why in the world does it take begging and pleading from us before you go to the doctor? Why does it take you almost passing out before you realize that you either need to make an appointment or you need to take better care of yourselves? And once you realize it...why do you try to self diagnose yourselves? "All I need to do is this and I'll be better." Um, excuse me Dr...uh, Dr? EXACTLY!! If you did not go to anybody's college for eight years then you are not qualified to diagnose ANYBODY!!!

5. And finally...what happened to those days when the girls got together, bought a few wine coolers, a good movie, and did each others' hair? Ok, fine. It was kool-aide, music videos, and high school...but, come on. Where are my girls when me and my follicles need them? I don’t feel like doing my hair and I really don’t feel like sitting in the salon for HOURS. So, yes...it's a semi-bad hair day. Come on...(singing) I'll buy you a wine cooler.