Ready? Set? GO!!

with Kim Jackson

I've been talking to a friend of mine that is getting fed up with the 'Race and Chase'. He says that women are no longer looking for a 'real' thing. Meaning; they've become as bad as some men with keeping an open dating schedule and some are even going so far as to having a man at home while still hitting the dating scene...under the guise of 'keeping their options open'. I have to admit...I got a little tickled to hear a MAN complain about the dating scene and fuss about the 'slim pickins'. For too long, women have dealt with the same issues that my friend is now having. It would seem that some women have adapted to their surroundings and now have become the hunters instead of the prey.

However, I did make a few suggestions to my friend. There is a point, when two people are trying to get to know each other that they have a more in depth conversation about what it is they are looking for. Not that inconsequential nonsense of what your favorite color is and which movies you prefer. That meat and potatoes conversation; where you really begin to know this person and their aspirations, quirks, and admirations. My first suggestion was not to rush this talk. If this is a woman looking for the ‘real’ thing; she may be frightened off with the sudden 'what I would like for the rest of my life' conversation. I told him to think of hunting in the woods and how careful he is when he’s approaching his target. If you step on a twig; those ears perk, off it runs, and you've missed your chance. My second suggestion, while having this conversation; really listen to what it is she is saying. This conversation will either do one of two things. It will come back to bite you in the badonka donk or point you in the right direction; letting you know if you should stay and chase or leave, with a trail of dust on your heels. And my third suggestion was to not give up. Just as he is a good quality man; there are plenty of good quality women waiting to share their love and lives.

It was a very touching and poignant moment for us. I really thought I was reaching out and helping a friend in his time of need. And then he said something that just blew it all out of the water.

"You know what? I'm just tired. I'm fed up. From now on...I'm just gonna do me. Forget their feelings; they don't care about mine!"

I tried explaining that unfortunately a very sizable portion of our population is feeling the same way. And the result is a bunch of people acting like kids in candy stores; hyped up on their adrenaline and others' pheromones tearing the place apart. I had to explain a little something to him. He's always quick to say that he wants a marriage like his parent's marriage. I told him to think about it. Mom and Pop both had to deal with some children before they found the adult that they would spend the rest of their lives with. The only difference is now we have technology to add to our searches, failures, and demises of relationships. And by reverting back to his 'childhood', he could be REALLY missing out on his lifetime mate. No woman is interested in building a life with someone with this type of attitude and vice versa.

Needless to say, he was still talking about how tired he was and all that nonsense. This went on for a good thirty minutes or so. He's a good guy, but when he starts complaining…my goodness! Finally, I told him if he really wanted companionship...just get a puppy.