Mr. Understood
by Kim Jackson

Recently, I relayed the story of Denise. She was having a problem removing her ex-boyfriend from her life. He wouldn't take 'no, thank you' for an answer. On that same token, he wouldn't take 'go to h---' either. I asked the men, what is the one thing or things that would give Miss Denise some relief. Well, that brought about another question that begs to be answered.

Why can't some women accept the idea of dating and attempt to force themselves into a relationship with a potential suitor? One of my friends had an issue with a woman having this same problem. It had even gotten to the point that this woman was sending emails to his Facebook friends asking about their relation to him. I sympathized with him, of course, because not only is that childish on her part; but, it is embarrassing on his part. So, what is a financially comfortable, one child with no baby momma drama, good looking brother to do? (His words...but, hey...he is honest...ahem, dear, I love you)


So, to help him get a solution...I had to ask a few questions of my own and give the reasons for the questions. Okay, men...listen up. And ladies...chime in.

1. What guidelines were discussed? 
a. Did you explain that you were only DATING? The future is just that; the future. You are not planning a life together; you are just getting to know each other. 

b. Are you dating others and was that information relayed? If a woman knows that you are dating others; they are more reluctant to assume that you are 'exclusive'. 

c. Also, if you are not dating others but you still don't want to be exclusive...was that relayed? Everyone has that right. Just because you are singular in your dating choice; it does not mean that you want to be serious or committed, but you must let that person you're dating know this. 

d. How soon was talk of the horizontal mambo discussed? One thing that most men miss. Although some women are moving into the role of being the aggressive one with this subject/action and have no problem approaching this as some men do; there are still some women that equate this action with exclusivity and commitment. And there are some that pretend to approach it like a man that are not being true to the man or themselves and really feel different.



These are some main points to be cognizant of when dating. Please be careful when approaching these subjects as well. If this is a woman that you wish to keep around; be mindful of your wording.

And just a small bit of advice that can keep a lot of dating woes down. Do not...I repeat...DO NOT discuss your finances. You are just getting to know each other. She does not need to know how much money you make or what you just bought. You could either be doing one of two things. You could either be turning off the woman that you call yourself trying to impress and she will only bother with you because you 'say' you got it and she's bored. Or you could have a human calculator sitting across from you, smiling, and trying to figure out what she can get you to spend on her and her bills.

Now, I know this doesn't cover it all...but these are vital points. So, ladies, I ask you...what other advice can you offer Mr. Wright?