Amusing Musings

with Kim Jackson

I’ve talked quite a lot about the good and bad in relationships and the good and bad about being single. But you know what makes these little battles worth the while? When you actually meet someone and connect on such a level that you often find yourself pinching yourself to make sure that you are not dreaming.

Suddenly, the slimeball that thought you were going to get naked because you shared a plate of appetizers and he bought you a Long Island Iced Tea becomes a distant memory. Magically, the one that felt that it was fair and okay to tell you that maybe you both needed some space on Sunday and moved someone in on Thursday becomes a good hearty laugh. Unexpectedly, the one you thought was meant for you until three months into the relationship he told you that he was married becomes a remote reminiscence. And a compliment was the reason for this victory.

Now, I know you’re thinking…WHAT?!

Alright, walk with me…talk with me. A person can tell you all day long that you have some pretty eyes. So what. A person can tell you that they like your hair. Big deal. But when you have someone compliment you on the thing you’re passionate about; now, THAT is a victory. That is a real compliment.

Suppose you love to paint? To have a woman that you’re interested in say, “I love the symmetry and the colors that you chose, you are very talented.” is a thousand times better than, “I love your curly eyelashes.”

What if you like to sew? “You made this?! Wow, you are incredible.” sounds much better than, “I love you hair, it’s so soft.” Don’t you think?

Let’s break it down. Really, they are complimenting your parents. It was their DNA and traits that gave you the eyes, lashes, hair, figure, and stature. But your painting and your sewing are all about you. You may have an eye for interior design; using those beautiful browns that momma gave you, but that eye for design is yours and yours alone. You see, when that compliment for your passion is spoken; you have already won a battle. You have been shown that this person is really noticing and listening to you as a person, not just your exterior. We are visual creatures and some make rash assumptions based on that visual presentation that we call ‘self’. Normally, the visual appreciation is still present while dating, but, it only rears its head upon the ‘dressing up’ of self for an occasion. And honestly, if someone is more focused on your exterior than your interior…that may be another issue all itself. Unless, of course, you are just as shallow as the person that you’re dating…and if that’s the case…nevermind.

So, pay attention and take a listen to your compliments. Not only will it help your confidence in life and in love, but it could also give you those little warning signs that you may need to look out for.

The Set-up

I remember the day…hot, humid, sticky

But there was coldness in my soul

I met a man by chance who said…

You have some pretty eyes

Immediately they were diverted from his gaze

What did he see while looking in my window?

All day my thoughts had run rampant with…

Him

Did he see the love that I once felt?

A love filled with beauty and fulfillment

Or did he see the pain that I now harbor?

One that resided deep within the marrow of my bones

The answer became evident upon our second meeting

And his intentions became clear as he transformed

His hands became wings

His feet, immense claws

His nose, the telltale curved beak

His words, meant to mislead me

Became the cry of the hungry

And I could see him in my mind’s eye

Flying and circling above

Waiting for that last breath

To dive down and feast upon my flesh

My pretty eyes, filled with pain

Was to him, an invitation upon my vulnerability

He saw me as his prey

Crawling across a desert floor

Hot, humid, sticky…and alone.

Diamond

© Sept/2010