Dre Harvey:

how's about we look at it like this, what does a woman look for in a man?

Dre Harvey:

one of the attributes would be a strong man wouldn't you say?

Dre Harvey:

not just physically strong, but strong is all capacities right?

Kim Jackson:

look...i don't care if you can lift my sectional with one hand...WE can lift it together...if you are mentally strong, then everything else should not be an issue

Dre Harvey:

right, but strong tho is what i'm saying if the man is not strong, what happens to the relationship?

Kim Jackson:

if the man is not mentally strong...then there is no relationship...i can't be with an idiot

Dre Harvey:

right

Kim Jackson:

and you can be mentally strong without being arrogant or overconfident i.e., a good guy

Dre Harvey:

and i agree, but since women have it all twisted in image, they think that an arrogant guy is confident in who he is and they attract to the wrong type of strength

Dre Harvey:

you rarely see a man chasing after a woman in a relationship. the first thing the guys gon say is that man is whipped

Kim Jackson:

that's a whole other issue!

Kim Jackson:

in both scenarios....you have someone who is not secure enough within themselves to be able to recognize, understand, and follow through with what they want.

Kim Jackson:

in both cases you have mistakes...in the first one...you have a woman reaching out to the wrong man and in the other instance, you have a man possibly missing out on who is meant for him because he's not man enough to say...forget ya'll, she's worth it.

Kim Jackson:

well...maybe not man enough...that's borderline bashing...my bad

Dre Harvey:

Exactly, so like i said, i agree with you whole heartedly

Dre Harvey:

But when they are together, and they are in love and an issue comes up, the final decision to resolve conflict goes to who?

Kim Jackson:

off topic again...this isn't about when they're together...it's about how women supposedly want what they can't have...but in your regurgitated biblical debate...resolving a conflict does not mean to 'concede' to the other. ultimately this can lead to feelings of resentment and unworthiness that can then result to that person finding other self affirming activities outside of the home and marriage to soothe their mentally abused psyche

Kim Jackson:

when two people love and care for one another...they are conscious to that other person's feelings and perceptions and this creates a bridge where they are able to come to a amicable solution with dignity and compassion and consideration

Kim Jackson:

put your club away cave man

Dre Harvey:

and as i said, i agree, has nothing to do with the bible. this is just the way from a man's perspective we were taught.

Kim Jackson:

and considering that you are in your 30's...this is outdated learning

Dre Harvey:

love is very patient and kind and compassionate. but just like back in the day, kids were told, "wait til ur daddy gets home"

Kim Jackson:

nothing is the same from 30 years ago...even coke has changed their formula twice

Dre Harvey:

and men were held to a higher standard that's all

Kim Jackson:

we also had a higher quality of men then at that time as well...and now, we're shooting emails, i.m.'s, and texts telling daddy...i just beat yo child's ----

Dre Harvey:

lol, true

Dre Harvey:

and that's where i am. higher quality of man. woman are still in search of that for the reasons we said.

Dre Harvey:

a man shouldn't abuse it, but they do b/c it's so many more woman than men and they are crazy silly with how they abuse women too

Kim Jackson:

and sadly...the saying of learning to love yourself before you can love another has become somewhat of a cliche' and if they can't love themselves...how are they able to hold themselves to a higher standard thus demanding a higher standard of man to be by their sides?

Dre Harvey:

true

Kim Jackson:

we need to hold some classes

Dre Harvey:

the relationship is up to the man to know what he has and to nurture it for life

Dre Harvey:

if he abuses it, you get left in the dust, which is really what happens to most single parents, the man is usually left out in the cold, the father, but rarely is a man left with motherly responsibilities, it happens tho, but rarely

Kim Jackson:

true

Dre Harvey:

u know how a woman loves her man so much that she cleans the house and makes dinner and all that b/c her man had a long day at work. Men should do the same for their woman. if the dude does that often he's looked at as soft (maybe not by the woman) , but if a women does it, she's taking care of her man.

Dre Harvey:

stuff like that, that's what i mean by what a woman sees, if he's not mentally strong and able to provide for his family, it's never the woman's fault, it's on the man b/c he's looked at as S.O.F.T.

Kim Jackson:

but you have to remember that for the past few decades, women have been told 'you can do it' 'you can be anything you want to be' 'you don't need a man to make it'...that brainwashing has manifested itself in a number of ways...having men and women assume negatively the complete character of a man because he loves to cater to his woman

Dre Harvey:

right

Dre Harvey:

So right. Just like when you go to the club, woman aren't supposed to buy men drinks

Dre Harvey:

or go and get a man's number right? when is the last time you've done something like that? like "whats up sir, what you drinking on?"

Dre Harvey:

you would ask, could he buy you one, you're not the one tipping the bartender

Kim Jackson:

i don't

Kim Jackson:

i don't even buy my own drinks

Dre Harvey:

right

Kim Jackson:

nope...not cuz i'm expecting someone to buy them for me

Dre Harvey:

i'm just saying the roles, you don't expect anything, but if the situation manifested itself, what would you do?

Kim Jackson:

i can buy my own....just like you can buy yours...impress me another way...i dont' care how many cosmos you can buy me

Kim Jackson:

if you can't accept me as a woman coming to say hello and that i would like to get to know you better...then you're not for me...i don't approach guys anyway...i've only done that once

Kim Jackson:

and even that was over the phone! i went to a coney and called back and told the waitress to give the guy my number

Dre Harvey:

ok, but hey a man is told, to go get her

Dre Harvey:

don't let her leave w/o introducing yourself and making your presence known that you want her

Dre Harvey:

and it is up to the woman to say, ok, u can have my number.

Dre Harvey:

it is up to the woman to say yes, i will get into a relationship w/you

Dre Harvey:

dudes are told these things

Dre Harvey:

unless they are crazy, this is how it should go

Dre Harvey:

there are a bunch of crazies out there too, but generally speaking, this is how it should go. can you agree with that?

Kim Jackson:

     i agree...there are a lot of crazies out there. lol!

 Kim Jackson:

     You’re right though….that is bred into men

  Dre Harvey:

     So we say, have times really changed? What do women really want?